break...

so...i'm taking a break. 

from what? i have absolutely no idea. 

i have no excuse to take a break. to be procrastinating at this very moment writing this post. 

my grades are SHIT. and i have almost no time to bring them up..

my piano...starting hell this term. 

summer?! oh yeah... so much fun in the sun. 

1) summer class at UCLA. no fucking lefo.. and as much as i'm trying to see the positive side to that. it sucks. 

2) seniors are leaving..

3) summer AP hw. 

4) seniors graduating...

5) summer band and band camp. 

6) seniors are freakin leaving!

7) BYU summer class shit. 

8) SENIORS. LEAVING. 

9) worrying about next year's school year. all my AP's, SAT's, work(?), volunteer, college apps, etcetc. 

10) oh. did i mention? seniors. are. going. to. be. gone... 

i'm going to be a senior. and as much as no one reads this. 

someone please. help. me..

take me away..

throw it away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape. 

we won't hear a word, they said. 

they don't know us anyway~

watch it burn. 

let it die.

cause we are finally free, tonight. 

-The Great Escape;; BOYS LIKE GIRLS<3

take me away, a secret place. 

a sweet escape, take me away~

take me away to better days. 

take me away. a hiding place~

-Natasha Bedingfield;; Pocketful of Sunshine ♥

take me away.. please..<3

craap .

confused and sorry?

"  again and again and again and again i keep going back to you. I don't know why, i don't know why
  again and again and again and again
i fall for your words again. I don't know why, i don't know why"

freakin freshmen.. nah... i shouldn't be blaming them. 

my problems are because of me. these problems of being confused? i shouldn't have them... 

yet why. 

why do i torture myself and i take others along with me. do you see why i say what i say? do you understand why i push away... 

i take you along with me. 

i burn myself. 

i don't want to burn you along the way. 

and most likely..? 

you would be better off, living without me. 

no matter how much you say you don't want to? 

think about it..

and to the other; 

i must say the same... i say what i say, so no one will get hurt. 

 

i'm sorry...

i'm sorry...

deeply horribly sorry....

for everything that i've done. for all the pain i've caused.

i don't know what to do..

i guess time will tell.

and i guess we will see..

VIRUS..

[gikwang]
i’m fine with waiting, i’m fine with you not wanting to look at me
just stay next to me
i’m fine with you cursing, i’m fine with you hurting me
i, i will do better

[doojoon]
i will hold it in even if you hate me
even if you keep pushing me away

[hyunseung]
don’t leave me
don’t get a new man
i will bear everything for you

[dongwoon]
you are my virus
you will make it harder on me
when i look at you again
my heart will hurt
but still i want you
even if i’m in pain after pain
even if i might lose everything

[yoseob]
you are my virus
you will make it painful for me
i want you again and again
i crazily want you
i love you so much
even if i’m in pain after pain
i love you until the day i day

[junhyung]
leave to me girl
take me with you
leaving that black wall behind
let’s head towards that dusk
remove that curtain covering the space between you and i
even thought it’s so hot that i might burn
i will still jump in so that you won’t have to do anything
slowly, little by little, i will blend in

[doojoon]
i will hold it in even if you hate me
even if you keep pushing me away

[hyunseung]
don’t leave me
don’t get a new man
i will love you a little more

you are my virus
you will make it harder on me
when i look at you again
my heart will hurt
but still i want you
even if i’m in pain after pain
even if i might lose everything

[yoseob]
you are my virus
you will make it painful for me
i want you again and again
i crazily want you
i love you so much
even if i’m in pain after pain
i love you until the day i day

[kigwang]
even if it hurts this much, i love you
watching you i wait again

[junhyung]
it might not be the love that is beautiful
it might not be the love that is blessed
but if i can reach you, i’m satisfied
(just loving you) i’m satisfied with just that

[dongwoon]
you are my virus
you will make it harder on me
when i look at you again
my heart will hurt

[hyunseung]
but still i want you
even if i’m in pain after pain
even if i might lose everything

[yoseob]
you are my virus
you will make it painful for me
i want you again and again
i crazily want you
i love you so much
even if i’m in pain after pain
i love you until the day i day

YOU are my virus..

virus by b2st <3

fiction && fact <3

Christmas... 3 days late.. ^^

MERRY CHRISTMAS~!<3
(about 3 days late... oopsies)

So! this christmas was great<3 it's been great so far with this winter break going.
i'm scared....terribly scared for school to start up again. /: but it's okay. (:

2 more days!
had a great Christmas day with him too..<3 and the day before that. (christmas eve) and the day after christmas! (26th)

anyways.
soon after, (the 27th) i got a good surprise! (: my friend texted me agaainnn. yaayyyy<3 hahaha.

Sherlock holmes tomorrow.
and my very LAME self centered christmas post right now. yes i know.


BUT I'M SO HAPPY.
yet so sad...
OH WELL.

i'll get it~!
Disneyland<3

I LOVE CHRISTMAS <3

Forget the RISK. and take the FALL. if it's what you WANT. then it's worth it ALL.

So I'll take the risk AND take the fall.
But it's what I want. So I'm going against it all.
Because I love you.
You're the risk. That I'm falling for.
I want you. And it's worth it.

I love you...<3 2 more days. (: 南谷明♡

ps. thanks ig<3

you..

You...yes you...

you're trying to steal my life away... get this straight.
i've known them longer than you've known them. they're not mine. but you know what, they're mine. i'm selfish. so what? get over yourself bitch.

yeahyeah i know. they love you may more than they love me. that's all fine with me. i want them to love me more but if they don't i can't change it.

but you know what? you can have them. as long as you STAY AWAY FROM HIM.
GET SOMETHING RIGHT BITCH.
HE'S MINE.
I'M HIS.
he asked ME out. not YOU.

so don't even try to ruin us. don't even think about it. and even if you do, it's not changing.

i will love him. unlike you. you little flirty ass comfy cozy bitch.

my distinction with all the guys is actually DIFFERENT. oh my god. :O -.-
yes. that was sarcastic.

get out bitch.

my love

my love for everything seems to be dying down...
but it seems to be coming back as weell. (:
my love for life is coming back... thanks. (:
thanks to everyone who helped me bring back this realization.
you guys will always have a place in my heart. <3
and i will always love you guys.
especially you. <3
and i hope with all that is going on, you'll never leave me.
you're crazy.
but.
i love you. <3