Ugh.

If only it were easy enough to just be good friends and not have to worry about things. To talk the way I want and say things without worrying that I might lose the friend forever. If only I could easily talk to people and not wanna constantly talk to someone all the time. 

I have so many problems and some people just don't help. 

“亂七八糟”

我的生活很亂七八糟的啦。我真的很顛三倒四，不管我做什麼，我從，每一天每一天似乎總能搞糟。我的心臟，头脑，跟我的生活很痛了。我就很希望我將能夠時間倒流 ，所以我可以重新開始。每一天我騙我自己和騙我最愛的人，我出什麼問題了。。。

aish. maybe it's just the pms that's making me talk about this.

四月は君の嘘。

四月一日：

Shigatsu wa Kimi no uso. I didn't know what it was about. And then I started watching it and it's about stupid music. The more I get into it though..the more it's gonna hurt me. I'm only on episode 4, and it hurts. 

But not with the feels like it does for everyone else. 

It hurts me..inside. Because I'm like him, I just..can't play. I'm abandoning myself. I don't even know who I am anymore, and the more I play, the more lost I get. But I've abandoned myself already, because I stopped playing..

It hurts..I'm sad..I don't want to let go of this dream I've held for so long. 

And this stupid anime is giving me all these feelings that I've been ignoring. And now all I want to do is cry..because I don't even know who I am, or what I want anymore..