Decisions, decisions, decisions.

so now that the first school year of college has ended.. (sigh, why did it go by so quickly?)
i have decided to do a review of the past academic year! let's look at the good:

• made new best friends at school while keeping the ones over here. 
• met a guy that is amazing and really likes me, as annoying as his ass is. 
• i have become more clear about what i want to do with my life. 
• learned that college is pretty hard. 
• but everything is worth it. 
• spontaneous night adventures with good friends are the best things ever. 
• Disneyland is always the best remedy. 
• music is life. 
• Brendon Urie is amazing. 
• so is Dylan O'Brien.
• life gets better eventually. (even if eventually takes a while...)
• baking is my remedy. 
• and i love food. 
• the nights that you sleep the least, are the nights you remember the most. 

now....
looking at the..not so good?:

• while breaking up with Lucas gave me a better sense of being levelheaded, it was...an experience. 
• parents. disappointing them, getting them mad, wasting their money, i don't want to do any of this, but i always feel like i'm gonna do something to disappoint them. i'm not the daughter they want me to be. i'm not going to be a piano teacher like i said, i'm not smart in the logical aspect of academics like math or science like my dad, and i don't try. it will always overbear my mind. 
• college is pretty hard.... 
• sometimes, sleeping is bad... especially when it's to get away from your problems.
• some people are just not good people and need to know how to fix themselves. 
• i got involved with a person like that and the end result? not very pleasant... 
• i still have absolutely no fucking idea what i'm going to do with my life. 
• and what am i going to do about my parents not liking the guy that i like? 
• life always gets worse before it can get better. 

now,
to look at the experiences and what i have learned:

• sometimes, studying and staying in, is worth that one time of not being able to go out. 
• sometimes it's not. 
• my parents will always love me. as much as i let them down, and as much as i don't want to. 
• life moves too quickly for teenagers. and it's scary and an unknown void. but it's life. 
• life is hard. 
• don't date high schoolers when you're in college and you never talk to each other. 
• communication in a relationship is key. 
• STUDYING IS IMPORTANT.
• life will get better in time.