Lemme ask.

Do you even appreciate me being your gf? A tiny bit?
Probably not.
I'm not just some girl that's gonna be here for entertainment purposes when you're bored. Just saying.
I love you.
But come on....

Second ?

I absolutely love being second to League....and I admit it's fun and entertaining but I guess it's more important than me...
Joy..

choices

always interfering in my choices. 

always having some kind of problem with all of my choices. 

at some point in life, you're not gonna be able to make all my choices for me, mother
and then, i ask you what the hell i did wrong, and you don't even give me a decent or right answer... ugh..

Joy....

More fighting between my parents.. About money.
Again...
I have a feeling my sleep is gonna be restless tonight. Thinking about why and me and all that I've caused...again..

i need to have more fun more often

mistakes

i think one of the hardest things for me to do, is to go past my mistakes in life and everything that is going wrong and all the crap that is happening, and learn from it and be happy with even all that stuff going on. i don't know why it is so hard for me.. 

but i think the problem is, that i start to get happy and everything even though my life isn't really all that great, and then i start thinking. that's where everything gets me. i think. 

i over think. 

i under think. 

i use my head too much and think of all the possibilities of everything and anything in the world, and then i get rid of all the positive opportunities and all that's left is everything negative that has happened or that will or that is or just anything.

i keep on over thinking. 

i have my dreams and i don't give up on them, but then my mind causes trouble and it over thinks and i have a hard time stopping it. it makes me just wanna scream and shout and let it all out. and cry and collapse and fall and curl up into a ball and just cry and cry and cry and disappear until somebody.. reaches out to help me.. so i won't cry alone, so i have a shoulder to cry on... 

everything that's been happening. 

if i don't let it all out, soon enough, it's gonna eat me from the inside. i already know it. 

all the mistakes that i have made, am making, and will make, what do i do? i mean i know i have to fix them, so why don't i fix them? what is wrong with me... 

i just wanna scream... and cry.... and curl up into a ball.... but then i also want someone to save me.. 

i know i shouldn't. and i know i don't half the time. most of the time i just want someone to hold my hand and be there for me while i save myself. 

but right now.. i just need someone to save me... help me let it out and just.. help me as i cry... 

idk what's wrong with me.. idk what to do anymore..

cause i know exactly who i want it to be..

"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for, you keep. Have faith in your dreams, and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dreams that you wish will come true. "- Cinderella

"No doubt you saw the whole pretty picture in detail. The young prince bowing to the assembly. Suddenly, he stops, he looks up, for lo... there she stands. The girl of his dreams, who she is or whence she came, he knows not, nor does he care, for his heart tells him that here, here is the maid predestined to be his bride." 

♥
I wanna watch Cinderella...all those Disney princess movies and stories.. all those happy endings. Right now, that's all I want...