thanks to.

so i must admit, i did sort of steal the name of this post from a very good k-pop song.
BUT. it kind of describes what i am planning to say in this post.
i have some people to thank. especially since it is the ending of the school year&i wish to thank some people for helping me through this yeear .

Justen Akira Minamitani;; besty. you know 143.<3 i'm sorry i dragged you into my life and all that stuff... but think about it. it hasn't even been a year and we're besties. thank you: for making me feel like i have someone. for helping me through my crap. for listening to every little thing i say. for bearing through it all. for dealing with my insecurities. for being my crazy match bffl. for cheering me up when i need it. for judging me and not judging me and sticking by me.
thank you bffl.(:

Justin Miller;; sisteer.<3 you are awesome. and not fat. and smart. and awesome. and...yea everything else we have argued and will argue about. (: i'm sad... next year you will be a senior and then you're gonna leave us. same with everyone else... thank you: for driving me home. for helping me feel better. for letting me talk to you. for talking to me. for poking me. for making me happier. for dealing with my craziness. for being you. and for being my sister. thank you sis' (:

Elisa Lee;; step-daddy. i love you~ <3 we got a lot closer this year...AGAIN. lol. just like 8th grade craziness... remember that? we've been friends for a long time now... and over the Europe trip, we DEFINITELY grew so much closer. thank you: for dealing with my somewhat bipolar-ness too.(; for letting me stay in your room until 1 am. for talking to me about all that stuff in Europe. for sticking with me in Europe. for being my friend. for being my step-daddy and helping with wise words.(; and for sticking through with my stupidity and the JAYE-V stuff. thank you step-daddy.(:

J.A.Y.E.-V.;; oh damn...here it is... the one. the ONLY. J.A.Y.E.-V.(: wow...Justin Miller, Aki Saito, Andy Mito, Yoshitaka Nonoyamama, & Eugene Arai... you 5 guys. i've known all of you since i was a freshman (besides Aki)... it's been 2 years now... can you believe it? i can't. cause i remember WHEN WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO FINISH THIS. and even though there was so much drama in between everything, WE ARE ALMOST THERE~! (with 5 people) but ALMOST THERE~! Elisa Lee, thank you. (: Andy Mito? Captain, thank you. Justin Miller? thank you for sticking with us. Eugene Arai? Leader, thanks. Aki Saito? thanks for improving. Yoshitaka Nonoyama? thanks for being good. all 5 of you, and Elisa. thank you so much. for going through everything and still staying with this even through ALL that shit... and you guys, i'm going to miss you. a lot. when you guys leave. don't forget to visit. okay? and i know it's a years away but still... you're my family...(:

so i don't exactly know who i am missing now. but you know what? this is good.
because these people that i emphasized? helped me SO MUCH through this year. we got a lot closer, & helped me through a lot even though it kind of wasn't.
thanks to you guys.

i love you guys. seriously. <3

perfect me.

this is me. don't try and change me. because most likely, YA CAN'T.
i am me.
you don't like it?
i don't give a damn.
i don't live to serve bitches like you.
i'm emotional. i'm stupid. i'm weak. i'm strong. i'm crazy.
that's just me.
not even close to perfect.
but perfect me.
as weird as it is...

realization.

so i have realized lately, that i have made this blog very personal actually. although i would like to change that, i feel as though i shouldn't. i feel like i can be myself here.
no one is reading what i feel. no one even knows what this is. i am glad...
glad that i am lonely in this world... glad that loneliness is a process in life. glad that it helps me be stronger. glad that no one will judge me from this. because no one is reading this.